43 days…

…counting down to June 1st.

The 2013 Camp Pendleton World Famous Mud Run. For more than a month, I’ve been trying to train and psyche myself up to be ready for it.

Then it happened.

“Twin Bombings” last Monday during the Boston Marathon.

I had never even heard of this world famous event until that tragic day.  And I suppose, there were many people who heard about the event for the first time too.  But this was one kind of publicity nobody would’ve ever wanted to happen.

As I opened the internet to find out details…

How many hurt?
Did anyone die?
Who did it?
Where’s the president?
Are we going to war?
What really happened?
Who did it?

…my heart sank a little, knowing that someone purposely set out to hurt so many innocent people. A moment of triumph turned to a seemingly endless time of horror.

And the questions kept coming.  The images kept repeating.  A headache.  It was all giving me a headache – only I felt it in my heart.

Someone must’ve planted it there.
They wanted to hurt as many people as possible.
Someone did this on purpose!

And all the runners in the world united. Prayers, thoughts of good will, words of encouragement, real and virtual hugs…a rush of support almost instantly.

The wheels are turning. We will find out who did it and bring the full weight of justice on them.

But I’m still scared.

I’m scared to run.

Another “world famous” event. Sure, it’s at the marine base…but, the “bad guys” can still find a way. Right?

Boom.

One second and it could all be over. And what of my children? They won’t be there, but in an instant, they could be orphans.

I want to back out. I’m not motivated to run. I’m too scared.

How am I supposed to find the courage to run?